Sleeping in my Dreams

SLEEPING IN MY DREAMS

Half awake and half in dreams
snug in nightshade’s mystic sheer
a stream of thought swims
through veins
Unimpeded

…Clear.

Bells toll a long way south of here
so far away

Yet

…One heartbeat near.

A familiar voice appears
enters, as I take in air
and hold it deep
whispering of doors and windows
opened wide, where I may gaze
upon the ethereal
…the universal light.

Such gentleness pours forth
a certain power of love and grace
overwhelms, travels
to the deepest well I know
The well inside of me
that place my soul calls home.

Surrounded in its warmth
like fossil is in stone
I can see it all
An eternity of stars
within the blink of an eye
Luminous, enlightening

And dream a dream of angels
with us, here in the
still point of the present
as we live our dance of life
moment by blessed moment

But then I breathe again

(Sigh)

and wonder…

Maybe you were only
there, simply

Sleeping in my dreams.

 ~**~ 

© Daydreamer Too    *All rights reserved

  

I’ve always been a daydreamer/deep thinker but, there is so much more to we humans, to the workings of our minds, that we only just touch the surface of and, because of lost ancient knowledge, that we may never even know.  Through my long journey through grief I had to learn to go deep within. To meditate and find the calmness that was eluding me and, find the answers to an all consuming rage that overwhemled me at times, the likes of which I had never experienced before.
But, I learned that, instead of seeking answers from the world, if we can go deep enough, we have most of them, within us. Many of us, just don’t ‘still’ ourselves and then wake up spiritually enough to know it.
A hospital pastor who ministered to Cathie during her long months of care and who chatted with me many times about religion, my beliefs and such, when she was back for many of her trips to the ICU once said to me: “I can see that God has blessed you with great wisdom and grace” and, I was deeply touched by his comment.
I still miss Cathie very much, but, I count myself lucky to have shared her love, to have been loved unconditionally by her because in turn, it freed me to love without holding a little part of myself back in case of being hurt. I count myself blessed to even just touch the surface of what helps to make us ‘tick’ in this world and in this universal connected-ness of the Prime Creator light of pure energy-love.
I learned that it is only when we surrender all will, all want and need that we finally begin to open ourselves to understanding unconditional love  and…I do know that I will never know all there is to know, our whole lives spent here are the love-lessons….and the more we seek, the more we find the answers and the next step is…. to continue on this journey to self. Sometimes we are the student, sometimes we are the teacher.

 

Shared at: Poets United Poery Pantry #53
and…. One single Impression Poetry #172 Miss (Long for)
Shared at: Sunday Scribblings #247 ‘The next step’ and
Shared at: Carry on Tuesday #109

Walls

The wall was built long ago, but what’s to be done if eyes don’t see beyond the watermark left in rainbow pools of longing from too many tears having been shed.
Do we sail quietly away as evening falls, silent, through her sky, or do we stay, hold the dream within and if we can….Keep breathing.
If love could build a bridge between your heart and mine then, somewhere in time’s vast expanse we may yet cross the great divide to where a promise still lays in wait, if enduring love ever decrees those walls will tumble, crumble once more, softly to the ground.

© Daydreamer Too    *All rights reserved

Shared at Jenny Matlock Saturday Centus week #58 (The wall was built)

This is something I wrote a few years ago but, thought it apt for the Jenyy Matlock promt about walls.

Eye of the Storm

EYE OF THE STORM
I am the calmness
(eye of the storm)
inside the busy tempest
of you.
~
You are all the winds
that blow
untamed and oft times
dangerous to know.
~
You drive me wild
as you touch me.
Caress and tease my
senses ’til I
quiver
at the core.
~
You whip up my
heart like autumnal leaves.
~
Sweep it up then
swirl it around
take it high and
see it fly, carried
on the wings of your
fallen angels
kiss.
~
I revel in the sway
of your currents
and ride the crest
of your thermals
the eye
(my heart)
always keeping
you from ripping us
apart.
~
I am the calmness
inside
your storm
our strength is equal
and, pure energy born.

~

 

© Daydreamer Too     *All rights reserved

 

I used to call my late partner my Tornado Cat because (Her name was Cathie but, she loved being called Cat and, her life was like a constant tornado. She was hyper and always on the go. Her energy knew no limits and exhausted me. She would tell me that because I was so laid back and calm, I was the calmness she needed and sought, the eye of her storm. I grounded her, soothed, slowed her thinking down so that she could relax. so, I was literally, the eye of her life’s storm.

Shared with  BluebellBooks Blogspot- Thursday Short Story Slam storms, tornados  

Reflections

REFLECTIONS

Day yields her chaotic light at last
to the venerable stars as
silent breath and movement
share the ancient moon with
each last persistant ray

One, reluctant to leave and
another yet to reach to dawn
from the peaceful dark.

The pureness of
a brand new tomorrow
awaits in windows through
which I gaze
reflecting both past and future
where guardians of the soul
hold my fragile heart as it beats
inside the calmest breast
knowing it will thrive
showered in their blessed love
as I look once more to
the invisible horizon.

~**~

 

© Daydreamer Too        *All rights reserved

 

Shared at Poets united-Thursday Think Tank   and….

Shared with One Single Impression #171 Endure

The Oracle

THE ORACLE

 

I used to beware of thoughts
that come in the night
but,
she speaks to me through whisps of clouds
that wander where they wish
across my sky of thought
somewhere in time.

An oracle who knows the
heart and soul of a poet
swayed in moonlight’s dance
over the waters sublime.

Her unerring eyes see through
the guise I wear, painted as a smile
and, she threads the needle that
contains all the strands
of my naked healing.

She knows that sometimes
I am the fallen
yet, for all my sins
still wishes to see me rise.

She imparts her wisdom
then bids me leave to find my way
having shown me the last secret
is one held in spirit
as I quietly walk my path of
rainbow light.

~**~

 

© Daydreamer Too   *All rights reserved




Shared at 50th Poet’s Pantry-Poets United

Shared at One Shot Wednesday #week49

Shared at: Carry on Tuesday #108

Another Day

ANOTHER DAY

Elegant blessings abound but…
am I worthy of their grace and favour.

I’ve seen beyond the black and white
of past echoes
where,
(if anyone asks me)
I’ll always say
I love my soft-fall rain
time, and time, and time again
for,
it washes me clean of woes and
licks my wounds
leaving a salt taste behind
simply to remind
that love is brave and
bears no regret or remorse.

If today
I write a sigh
it’s because
(well)
in the absence of daring
the word seems to suit my mood.

The hour draws near
where a galaxy of stars will
once again paint the sky
and, there I’ll dream amongst
the mystic glow of La Lunas
milken hue, knowing she won’t mind.

I’ll quietly lay and bathe in her
mysterious glow or,
(if she’s shy)
nights bluest light will
lead my peaceful sleeping into
the gold of day
and,
at the coming of dawn
I’ll surrender freedoms wings
to turn their circles in the air
without me
as I dare once more to
wake and face another day.

~**~

©  Daydreamer Too       *All rights reserved

 

  

If I Could Touch This Memory

IF I COULD TOUCH THIS MEMORY

Reaching for unseen truths
in that temple of the fates
Such depths, invoked.

Lit from within
in that light
dispelling darkness

No…there was no fear.

Cushioned in the friendship
of your soul
I found a soft place to fall.

Free then,

tip-toed into ecstasy and
danced the dance of forever.

Oh, if I could touch this memory

This find of buried treasure

when,

in those halls of quite wonder
nothing was awry

and willingly,

I opened up to loving you
changing forever
the colours of my mind.

~**~

© Daydreamer Too      *All rights reserved



Love changes, everything.

Water, Wind and Stone

 

WATER WIND AND STONE

Across the water

she waits
where the mountains
meet the sky.

With a genteel radiance
she describes infinity
through the beauty of
her eyes.

Atuned to Earths vibration
I hear melodies in
hidden caverns
that reverberate to my
soul’s dance

Silent to all
save those who sing
of the joys to be shared
in the comfort of their truth

and,

love still blooms
in water, wind and stone.

~**~

© Daydreamer Too     *All rights reserved

 

I believe that Love is everywhere…. both within us and without and, I believe everything we see and that which we don’t see is also alive, water, wind and yes, I believe even stone has its own type of life.

Love just….IS

  

Shared at:  Thursday Poets Rally #45 

(Haiku) 

Winning this award

Was such a lovely surprise

My heart is smiling

 

If you wish to participate in this go here:   Promising Poets Cafe  

There are so many talented writers each one deserving of being mentioned but I can only nominate one person and it is Lunawitch15

Being in the Now

BEING IN THE NOW

She asked me
how do you…
and, I replied

Hush now,
still yourself
…inside

Breathe in deep
find that place
where your soul resides.

Time flows
as particles of dust rise up
to flit and float…
To dance on rays of light
continuing the ebb and flow
of life.

Unafraid of what will be
I know that you are the One
I am yours
…eternal
and, you free my thoughts
to roam at will.
To look beyond dust
that settles upon the
vacant window-sill of
an ache, ignored.

No,
I settle for nought
but to see my sea of blue
and perchance, a cloud
to ponder on as,
in beloved silence, it rolls along
that fine-sprung thread.

Or,
the bird I espy whose flight
becomes my own as it
swiftly clasps an upward
gasp of air ‘neath wings that
lift it higher still
lightening my mood too
as I feel the thrill of
such daring.

I am whole
and,
 am here in the now of my being
my breath is my spirit
alive

I am a body

…Free.

 

~**~

© Daydreamer Too   *all rights reserved

 

 

This came about from my mini-monster-teen Chloe, asking me how do I meditate.
Oh how the mind does wander in beautiful Daydreams….. eh~! 🙂

Dark to Light

DARK TO LIGHT

A vast sky
holds its magic there for me
with a touch of silk it glides
naked, across all thought.

Dressed in her most luscious gown
night trails a waterfall of stars
and dances with other
teasing ribbons of light
that touch the soul and set
the flesh to tingle.

Extraordinary

…. life.

Who can forget
such rhapsody once you’ve
listened with your heart
as classic lines
paint a waltz of words
on canvas in the mind
bringing forth
the cosmic dark
to light.

~**~

© Daydreamer Too   *all rights reserved

 

Dark to light and, back again…the circle and cycle of
life and universal love as it is, always and…unbroken.

Shared at One Shot Wednesday and
Poetry Pot Luck

All That I Am

ALL THAT I AM

In reaching for the stillness
I feel you.
Each breath I take, hold and, exhale
then, blends itself to crystal mist
or…
falls in fresh teardrops of
early morning dew.
Yes, I feel you.

How far I have travelled from
a painful past.
As far as my feet would
carry me
but…
not as far as my love
has yet to go.

Because of you
today, I am all that I am
but…
not all that I will ever be.

You bathe my darkness
in a circle of light
that shifts the gloomy moods
back away from the edge of the abyss
up to the quiet, acceptable.

What a treasure you are
to have
to hold me
…through the longest of nights.
I’m embraced in warmth and glow
of all the love that there is
because of you
gentle spirit.

~*~

© Daydreamer Too All Rights Reserved

Added to Poetry Potluck

Don’t Forget To Breathe

 

DON’T FORGET TO BREATHE

Today I found some precious time
alone, before the rain arrived.
Turned my collar against the
wind’s cold hands
tasted the sky once more and
felt alive, again.

A moment
of love
of dreams, aloud.

I saw through the grey veil
of passing clouds to
where pieces of hearts were
painted with words that
cannot be said.

But…
If my soul does not feel
all the love there ever was
and will ever be
what is there left

…what is there left.

Ah,
the most beautiful secrets
are always planted deeply,
nurtured and, grown into
treasured memories
almost as if…
that which cannot be seen

still sings in harmony with
everything that can.

I look to the sea and
hear you calling, softly.
Offer up prayers of gratitude
for the blessings that were mine
from the simple beauty of
sunlight on your face to
the unmistakable look of love
in your eyes

and…
with barely a whisper
hear your voice in the waves say

‘Don’t forget to breathe.’

 

~*~

© Daydreamer Too   *All rights reserved

Letting Go of Love Hurts

 

Did you ever love someone so much, it hurts? ….I have…. twice.

My life partner passed away in Oct 2005, I loved her deeply and grieved just as deeply and, had to learn to accept that pain. Learn to embrace it and own it as being mine and accept it as the price I had to pay for loving without condition and, only then did I learn how to let her go.

When it hurts so much to lose someone you love, I have learned that instead of trying to push that pain and heart-ache away, and asking the Gods to take it away from you because you don’t want to suffer it anymore….you need instead, to ‘own’ it.  You had the pleasure of sharing the love, the pain you have when you lose it, is the price you have to pay and, unless and until you accept the pain/heart-ache and embrace it because it belonged to you and you alone, you won’t ever be able to let it go and, in so doing,  ease the pain. Once you ‘own’ your pain, you have learned the life-lesson and, you are then free and able to give it up to the ether and then, feel lighter.

Through my own insecurity and lack of belief in myself, the second person I fell in love with thought I was  jealous and, it truly wasn’t that at all, it was a constant nagging fear inside me of losing them, which made me cling on too tight and so, I lost her anyway…. because I screwed it all up, scared her away and lost her then to someone else.  So, I went into another deep mourning. Grieving her loss only, this person hadn’t passed away.

You’re happy that they are happy and because you love them you always want to know that they are happy but, you know that losing them was a lesson well learned about how you shouldn’t have behaved and you just know that if they had just trusted you with their heart just one more time and you had been their #1 priority instead of being caught up in a love triangle, you would’ve both known the bliss of sharing a beautiful friendship and love affair, because what you did share, when it was good, was a beautiful God-given thing, instead, your heart continually breaks at the loss of her into millions of tiny pieces.

I’ve always been so full of passion, I live, eat and breathe it. Everything I do is with and through passion.

I have loved this deeply twice, in my lifetime and, loving so deeply has changed me. Through losing my second love through my own failings, I have learned now to accept that, when someone tells me they love me, they mean it. They’re not just saying it and going through the motions, they actually do mean it~!!

I fell deeply in love with my late partner, deep enough to move countries to be with her and, when she died, I knew that I’d never truly loved. Oh, I thought what I felt was love but it wasn’t, because I knew I’d always kept a part of my heart back… just in case. With my late partner I trusted her love so much and through her love of me, I  learned to open up to allow myself to fully love and in return, it set me free to accept being loved unconditionally.  And, if I had trusted this other love I was given 3  years ago, life may well have been so very different now….who knows. Some things are meant to be and some things aren’t. This love we share is a soul-deep love, no matter how much bad feeling there’s been between us and no matter how much time passes, we have a need to have contact in one way or another and,  when she’s afraid, worried or in some type of emotional crisis, I can feel her still reaching out to me at times,  but…. maybe it just isn’t meant to be.

I just know I’ve been in mourning over it all too long now. It’s been too long a time and there’s no going back anymore so….. for my peace of mind I need to let it/her all go, again. She recently left the person she is with for two months to help a family member and, I had thought then that we may have another chance to be together once more but, it’s not what she wants for her life so, I need to leave her alone to live the life she’s choosing again now and pray she is always loved and happy…

So, common sense tells me I must close the door once and for all on all of this and seek out other doors that will surely open once I begin to look again.

*Who can say if your love grows, as your heart chose, only time..
And who can say where the road goes, where the day flows, only time.
…. Only time (Enya)