Broken

In the driveway either side of the car was ice
but it was one small step from it to a snow bank
and safety.

Carefully stepped out onto the ice
turned slightly to shut the door
and before I knew it one foot
slid beneath the other and down I went.

Tried to stand
couldn’t
thought it was a bad sprain
bummed it backwards up the snow bank
minus 14o temps.

Thankfully we had a downstairs half bathroom
I (didn’t) sleep on the couch all night
for the pain.
Next day there was an angry red rash
creeping up my shin so a friend took
me to the local ER.

“You need to go to town dear.”
The doctor said and gave me a shot of morphine.
“However did you handle all that pain?”
(Women do, when they are convinced it’s not that bad)

Had to go by ambulance to another hospital
where the surgeon told me I’d broken
tib and fib and it was the worst type of break
I could do right across the ankle. Needed an
op and then permanent metal plate and screws
to hold it all together.

Now,
I dread winter’s arrival
because to get anywhere here for at least
four whole months most of it is walked
on ice.

People ask how on earth I didn’t know
it was broken.
Didn’t I hear it crack?

No,
I didn’t hear a snap but now
fear it happening again from the moment
the snow arrives until it leaves again
at the end of April

No, I didn’t hear the crack
but every step I take in winter re-live
over and over the sickening moment
that it happened
and,
feel sick to my stomach
with fear.

~*~

© Daydreamertoo                *All rights reserved

*That’s not my ankle but, it shows where I did the breaks. I had about 6 staples going up the inside ankle bone and about 12 on the outside. Was in 4 different casts because it took longer to heal and was in a wheelchair for over 4 months. Took a full six months before I could walk with two canes. I’m so thankful though that I could walk at all.  Even though I use steel grippers on the bottom of my boots sometimes they fail to ‘grip’ … I’m really not a coward but, my stomach does somersaults through fearing falling and breaking anymore bones now.
If I’m (mom’s) out of action, most everything grinds to a halt here…lol
dVerse Poets Poetics: POETICAPHOBIA

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Author: Daydreamer

I live on a beautiful island in Atlantic Canada and design custom made candles

25 thoughts on “Broken”

  1. “bummed it backwards up the snow bank”
    –pushing with your feet and ankles, of course! Ouch.

    Though I only have sciatica from injured nerves in the spine, I feel the fear too, like the itch from an amputated limb. It is not a matter of courage or cowardice, but a matter of control vs. lack of control. If only someone could always be there just in case–so until I am secure, I will NOT walk on ice, drive in snow–not without a bucket of soil to throw on the ice and snow–thank god for retirement!. I like your narrative and then addressing the fear. I am not ashamed of fear.

  2. That sounds like NO fun at all! I had a serious break when I was a logger–a big tree fell on my leg–and went through two years of operations, casts, etc., so I know some of what you went through. Be careful, but don’t be skeert!

  3. I feel for you. How awful it must be. I don’t like the cold, or walking on ice yet I’ve never fallen hard enough to break a bone. I sure can understand your fear. And I know if Mom is out of commission, the whole family is paralyzed. Take care of yourself.

  4. i had a simple fracture of my ankle when i was twelve and didn’t want to wake my mother to get my next dose of pain meds ~ i can only imagine how much pain you were in! i never got on a skateboard again, but you can’t avoid the ice! i’d be afraid, too! why don’t you move out here to Arizona? we never have ice or snow! {smile}

  5. i can imagine that you have fear now after something so bad happened…I’m scared when i have to drive a car in the snow…had a terrible moment once on a mountain, losing control..i almost went mad with fear

  6. Scary to realize we are a fall away from being debilitated and unable to do so many things we take for granted…nice write…I felt the trepidation..

  7. Yeah not being able to do anything sucks, my back went kaput and everything else followed, when mobility goes life pretty much does cease to go anywhere for a long time.

  8. Oh my gosh, this is a person’s worst nightmare and I can EXACTLY imagine how you fear taking another fall. Horrible. May you get thru this winter safely, in one piece – four months in a wheelchair, I cant begin to imagine, with a young one at home to look after. Take extra special care! I feel guilty – we think it is freezing when it gets to zero (rarely), we usually only get a smattering of snow, which melts the second or third day…and we’re such total babies about it!

  9. ugh…having gone through this with my mom…its brutal losing mobility and finding out just how fragile we really are….ice is nothing to mess with….

  10. I don’t blame you…once you get an injury like that you always think twice..the what ifs haunt you. I hate driving in thunderstorms since my car wheels locked up and aquaplaned at an intersection…thankfully there was a traffic island that stopped my car before disaster. Great write!

  11. you’re tough, wow. enduring this without treatment for a whole night… you’re a warrior!
    “the more you fear something, the more power you give it.”
    i do not remember who said this, but it just popped into my head. don’t let snow and ice take hold of you.

  12. Ouch. Yes, I can imagine the fear of snowy icy days after an experience like that. I like the way you narrate this and the observations about pain and fear of it that you bring.

  13. a very real and rational fear in this one…anyone would feel the same after enduring such an experience….great narrative…but nothing an top the onset of winter….something challenging for you every year….but you can face it…every fear can be

  14. I can empathize with you as I fell during a snowy wet day on my butt but thankfully no broken bones ~ That is why I walk carefully during winter, one slow foot at a time, never taking anything for granted ~ Take care Bren, and keep warm ~

  15. I understand this fear. When I take the dogs out the door in winter, there can be ‘black ice’ on the porch and stair. I have to remind myself EACH time I step out the door to watch my step. Today we had some torrential rain. I went out with dogs wearing Crocs, which almost had me hydro-planing on the water. I’m wearing different shoes to take dogs out for the rest of today. I do know about falls. A few years ago I fell down 12 wooden stairs and broke a ton of stuff.

  16. Fear no doubt. I am sorry this happened to you. I fell thru the ice once, and even though I live in Montreal, I never venture out on any ice any more. Way too scary. Great write.

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