He studies this nest
senses keened to a point
sharp, not to miss a thing.
The crowded pack in the park
has gone.
It’s silent now
barely a whisper from the grass
owners with pet in tow have
all gone at last.
A paw print here
an odd smell there
was all that was left of
the intrusion.
The clock of life
on the pendulum swings
never stops its
tick, tick, ticking.
Time is such a
precious thing.
(But, he digresses)
This home is held together
…precariously
with twigs and string
and many odd things
his only wish has always been
to see what lay inside.
He wondered how large
the eggs would be
their shape and yes, their shine
and, maybe he would
taste one yet
(if their owner felt inclined)
So far
the only house rule had been:
‘Before you step into my dream house
you must remove your shoes.”
~*~
© Daydreamertoo *All rights reserved
I wanted this to be a bit surreal. A bit like a Dean Koontz ‘Odd Thomas’ feel. Where, everything seems normal but, not quite.
Shared with Tess Kincaid Of Magpie Tales #111
Brenda w Of The Sunday Whirl #50
Never read Odd Thomas or anything by Dean Koontz, so I can’t make a reference comparison. I will say this though: at the beginning I thought it was about a man wanting to investigate a bird’s nest, then I thought maybe an egg-eating animal of some sort. But then that last stanza brought me back to a human character again. Definitely surreal and a fun read.
hmmm really surreal. The first paras took my whole attention…and slowly drew me into this nest of dreams…..great.
Oh my…I thought I left a comment here… perhaps I posted it on a different site… I really enjoyed this piece. My computer has been having fits and coughs. I hope my dearest can fix it soon.
We poets comfortably nested in our words…
Oh yeah. This is a good one.
=)
But isn’t he being cannibalistic, wanting to eat an egg when he’s obviously hatched from one himself? LOL
I feel like Alice being pulled into the giant chicken hole !
‘And also try to settle in softly and carefully. You might just crack an egg, underneath! Good Advice and a great write
Hank
One of my favorites this week ….
I’m feeling a bit of the empty nest thing here…nice write…
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with ‘normal, but not quite’. You had me re-reading just to see if I’d got it right… *smile* Liked it!
This is kind of surreal, and I’m totally drawn to the imagery, you know, nest & eggs.
A nod to Alice in Wonderland…loved this
Hugs
SUeAnn
Superb response to the prompt.
That’s really good!
agree with Margo as well, the surreal is there but not overpowering. Good flow and feel to it and cool combining of the prompts. I could make neither cooperate.
This is one of my faves of yours! not that any others have been lesser poems, of course. Just really like this one. very original and interesting.
Hope the park’s odd smells are not bad ones. 🙂
And I loved how shine after shape left a satisfied taste on my poetical ears’ palette, a nice little added tidbit.
xo
I did make it to the end of how to make a comment, but found I had forgotten what I was going to say. Something about meandering thoughts.
A most enjoyable read – the last line making me smile!
Anna :o]
Beautiful dreamer this poem is a deligt a
short short story that is fulfilling with
all of her mysteries.
I like this:
“This home is held together
…precariously
with twigs and string
and many odd things”
This captures the essence of the prompt perfectly – a very enjoyable read.
I thought you did a good job of making it feel like ‘odd thomas’.
Love you closing stanza:
So far
the only house rule had been:
‘Before you step into my dream house
you must remove your shoes.”
Bren, there is playful, yet solemn yarn to this piece, that is very thought provoking. Good one.
Pamela
Wonderful and witty– beautifully crafted! xxxj
I had to read this over a few times, and still I must admit I don’t know whose home this is. I think I missed a vital clue. Maybe I should try to read Dean Koontz.
Lovely “intrusion” and digression, and then how the poem returns to the nest at the end. Liked the “dream house” ending.
Richard
it is a bit surreal but you know if that is the dream then i bet they must love nature…and so of course the shoes must come off to fully appreciate it…
I would have to echo Margo’s comment. It’s surreal, but subtly so. Very cool.
I just got my hands on Odd Thomas not too long ago… this definitely has the same feel to it… especially the ending.
Haha well it must be quite the pain keeping all that sand out of his house, so I would expect one should remove their shoes…haha
Enjoyable…your talent is showing.
Superb ending. Nice write.
Surreal it certainly is. Those eggs will be very interesting!
I’d say you are successful with your wish for the poem. The surreality [?] is like a faint breath, barely catching at the reader, but jolting slightly. I loved the effect.
Oh, I love this, Bren … definetly a keeper (of the nest) 🙂
Rhythm and rhyme move through divine… I love it. This also fits the napowrimo carpe diem theme.
This is a great start to April’s writing frenzy.
very nice. He digresses…
the end is really funny. who would want to live in tigs and strings, if you’re not a bird!?
in the dragon’s nest