Battered Wives

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For years
and years
(far too many)

She was a punching bag
and yet she gave
…and gave.

Sometimes she’d fall
I’d try to catch her
in the spin and
pick up the pieces

This was not what
she had planned
and yet
…it was.

She was living
…had yet to live

Now my message is as clear
as I can make it
and as gentle.

“Open your heart
don’t close it to love.

Don’t say:
‘I can’t’ because
you can
the best is yet to be
you just have to believe
in you
as I believe in you.
Your life is no longer
tightly bound around
another’s bidding
Life demands that you
come back again
Back into its living
close your eyes,
clear your heart
let it go.”


© Daydreamertoo *All rights reserved

For my youngest sister and other battered women everywhere.
She had to go to court last week, saw her soon-to-be ex husband, crying.  Told me it was cancelled for some reason but, it was hard to see him keep sobbing. I told her they are ‘pity me’ crocodile tears and that if she went back with him now he’d treat her even worse because she’s had the nerve to take the divorce this far. She’s feeling so lost, nervous, fragile and, she has no self confidence at all. She has panic attacks and I’ve told her she has to re-learn to live her life again but for herself now and, it takes time to adjust to thinking for herself once more after 30 years of his bullying, spousal abuse and conditioning.
Told her to try to change her thinking and stop keep saying ‘she can’t do so and so by herself’ and to start trying to tell herself ‘yes, she can do.’ I could cry for her lack of confidence in herself.
I’m praying so hard she keeps her fragile nerve now and doesn’t take those all too easy steps backwards. The next time he could end up killing her.
I love my family and sometimes wish so much I could hug (especially) her because I know how much she misses her big-sister-Bren hugs.
Thank goodness we can talk now through her having access to a computer now.

Shared with Carry on Tuesday #150 The best is yet to be
OpenLinkNight #37

Author: Daydreamer

I live on a beautiful island in Atlantic Canada.

27 thoughts on “Battered Wives”

  1. I feel your pain and worry in this. prayers for your sister. a horrible situation to be in. she is blessed to have you, someone who loves her so much.

  2. You have taken your very personal experience of this heinous social atrocity, and written it in a way we can all relate to.

    And my two-cents worth: That man is crying for himself, not for her, because his shame has been made public. Not worth a paper tissue from a passerby.

  3. She is so brave to face him and I hope she sees this as one step to regaining her onw sense of self again 😦

  4. Change is good … Change is scary … Change changes lifes … Change happenend because of you, Bren … Thank you … Love, cat.

  5. “and doesn’t take those all too easy steps backwards” … It is so easy and it’s what she really wants, in her heart. To go back. Because somehow, she still loves him desperately.

    Can you get her involved in a support group? If she were surrounded by others who are walking the same tough road, it might help her to stay strong.

  6. so hard to break free of that cycle, may she find the strength to move forward. she is lucky to have the love and support you offer to her.

  7. I do hope that your sister does not fall for the tears. There was time enough for tears in the past. This is the time for moving on. A strong poem which is about the experience of so many, unfortunately.

  8. I just can’t fathom why the need of a physical by a man. He is sick, no other explanation. The ‘croc tears’ act is easily done and I think he did. Good thinking Bren!
    Hoping she’ll get through with this!


  9. I pray that she (and you) will be strong, and that she can see this through. The first days will be hard, but after that, it will get better ~

    Much love and prayers ~

  10. My daughter went through this and came out the other side a stronger person. Tell your sister that she can make it. Don’t ever go back. Those tears being shed are phony. He’s crying for himself and to get his own way. Thanks for sharing this story and you’ll all be in my prayers!

  11. “Life demands that you
    come back again
    Back into its living”

    This statement is SO true of this specific situation and others too, where people relinquish their rights to other abuses including drug abuse.

    You’re so strong and I’m so glad she has your support now, her story is so common and SO heartbreaking.

    My heart cries for her. Prayers…

  12. This is so sad, touching. She’s lucky to have a sister like you. My sister is in a similar situation but after a divorce of 27 years she got involved with this kind of person and has been stuck for several years… wanting out but not knowing how. I feel so powerless, and we are… but we can pray.

  13. this turns my stomach bren…ugh…i have counselled several ladies…and to walk out or try to get away seems so impossible…i have high respect for those that do escape and make a new life for themselves…this should never happen…

  14. My mother has lived this way for the last fifty years and reading this just brings it all flooding back. 5 minutes, baseball bat, empty room, payback can be satisfying.
    My heart goes out to you and your sister, I hope she has the strength to see it through to its bitter finale. Stay strong for her, she needs you more than ever.

  15. Yeah nothing but a cry for pity and they are as fake as can be. Good for her to keep doing away with the scum bucket.

  16. this is so tough and happens way to often…and often the women are too weak..mentally.. to go… def. they need someone who shows them the way out..

  17. Well, you’ve gone and induced tears. I don’t have words just well wishes that she will break the pattern, ignore the crocodile tears, and step into the sun.

  18. I’m praying for her too, Bren. She is stronger than she thinks she is. I hope she keeps resolute to divorce that brute. She CAN do it.


  19. My heart goes out to you and your family. This is such a difficult thing to go through. On average, it takes 7 times for the battered partner to leave before it sticks. The two are locked in a horribly destructive pattern and it takes lots of inner strength to change that by leaving–Keep on supporting her–

  20. Yes, his tears have come too late! Forgive him, fine. Pitty him, certainly. Serve his punishment… I truly hope so!

    PS. Thanks. The URL “blogpspot” was a typo.

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